


Hedonistic Debauchery

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Background Allison/Luther, Barebacking, Biting, Degrading Language, Handcuffs, Incest, Jock Strap, M/M, Podfic Welcome, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 10:32:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18569629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Diego catches Allison and Luther. He gets flustered. Klaus finds this hilarious, and goes to poke him about it.





	Hedonistic Debauchery

Klaus was sitting at the kitchen table, eating a sandwich (pickle and cream cheese, because there was nothing else to make a sandwich with in this godforsaken house that wasn’t peanut butter or marshmallows), when Diego came stomping in. Klaus was not the type of person to use the term “harried” in his day to day life, but it was the only word that came to mind when he caught sight of Diego’s face. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Klaus took a bite of his sandwich. 

Diego… blushed. An ugly blush, too - it was blotchy, and went from his cheeks to his forehead, down his neck. Klaus wondered, in an idle sort of way, just how far down that blush went - he couldn't see Diego’s neck in the turtleneck. When they’d been kids, Diego had gotten red to the chest when he was flustered enough. “Going on patrol,” Diego said roughly. He was making his way towards his bedroom, presumably to change into his tactical fetish gear. 

“It’s still light out,” Klaus called after him. “It’s hard to pull your vigilante bullshit off when you can’t melt into the shadows or whatever!” He was vaguely curious as to what it was that had gotten Diego so worked up, but not curious enough to get up and actually investigate anything. 

A few minutes later, when Klaus was chewing on the crust of his sandwich and wondering idly what a cream cheese and peanut butter sandwich would taste like, Allison came in. She looked flushed as well, albeit a different sort of flush. Hers was a nicer flush than Diego’s - Klaus might have gone so far as to call it a _glow_. 

Klaus put two and two together, and he was almost positive he’d get four this time. “Diego caught you masturbating, didn’t he? Poor guy is so pent up these days I’m surprised he doesn’t have jizz dripping out of his nose.”

Allison gave him a Look, and Klaus cackled, spraying crumbs across the table. 

“No, he didn’t,” Allison said, but she was avoiding Klaus’s eyes, looking even more embarrassed.

“He totally did,” said Klaus. “That’s why he just ran by like his ass was on fire.” He was still cackling, rocking in his seat.

And then Luther came in, sans overcoat, and the was a brand new hickey on his neck. 

Klaus began to laugh harder - genuine, side-splitting laughter, the kind of laughter that made him worry that he was going to pee himself. His stomach was churning, and his chest was tight. He’d start to get control again, and then he’d catch one of their guilty looks, and he’d be stuck all over again, tears dripping down his face. 

By the time he got a hold on himself, Luther was looking downright _disgruntled_ , and Klaus had tears dripping down his face, no doubt ruining his eyeliner. He glanced up at Allison, and she looked like she was going to punch him, or possibly rumor him into doing something especially heinous. He gave her his best shit eating grin.

“Did Diego walk in on you two -”

“Yes,” Luther said, before Klaus could get a really good routine going. It was a pity - he was feeling _particularly_ witty today. 

"I think you may have traumatized him," Klaus said, and now he was positively _delighted_. He hadn't seen this many of his siblings this flustered since the first time he'd gotten naked and high in the kitchen. 

"Shut up, Klaus," said Luther, although there wasn't much venom behind it. 

Klaus stood up, fluttering his fingers behind him in a wave, and made his way towards the door.

"You didn't wash your plate," Luther called after him, because of course he did. 

* * *

Klaus made his way outside, pulling out his packet of cigarettes and tapping one out. Diego's car was parked by the dumpster, just out of sight of anyone walking by the alley. That self same passerby would have to take maybe a step into the alley before they could see Klaus lurking there. It was a fragile sort of privacy, but it was privacy all the same. Klaus sat cross legged on the hood of the car, and he had a nice, leisurely smoke. Diego would be around soon, and in the meantime, Klaus could enjoy a chance to stop and smell the roses.

Well, garbage in this case, but the principle was the same, right?

Klaus was on his third cigarette when Diego came down the fire escape. He made a face, and he seemed to get even _more_ irritated when Klaus gave him a cheery wave. 

"So you saw Luther and Allison going at it, huh?" Klaus blew out a plume of smoke. "I heard somewhere that gorillas have the smallest dicks of all the primates. Does Luther measure up?" 

"Get off of my car, Klaus," Diego said through gritted teeth. A muscle on his cheek jumped as he clenched his jaw.

"What were they doing, anyway?" Klaus rested his chin in his palm, his elbow digging into the meat of his own thigh. "I wanna say missionary, since Luther is still practically a blushing virgin who needs his hand held through the whole thing, but Allison could be into some _freaky_ shit." He waggled his eyebrows, mugging like he was in a silent movie.

"That's... you're a sick fuck," said Diego, and he crossed his arms over his chest, glaring. 

"C'mon, those crazy kids have been panting after each other since puberty," said Klaus, leaning back, his elbows digging into the hood of the car. He was intensely aware of the sweep of Diego's eyes along the line of his body, and he preened under the attention. "It's not like it's a surprise."

"They don't have to do it... like that," Diego sputtered.

"Like what?" Klaus scooted down the hood of the car, until his feet were flat on the ground. "Inquiring minds want to know." He let his hands dangle loosely between his thighs, and he looked up at Diego, fluttering his eyelashes. He knew this was a good angle for him - it made his eyes look bigger, his lashes longer.

"You're sick," Diego repeated, although the statement was lacking its former conviction. 

"Alison seems to be the take charge type," said Klaus, and he put his hands on Diego's hips, more to see Diego jump than for any other reason. 'I bet she was riding him. Was she riding him?"

"Oh my god," Diego groaned, His hands went to Klaus's wrists, and Klaus's mind was going... places. Interesting places. They weren't _new_ places - their upbringing was weird enough that they had all skirted certain lines a few times. Allison and Luther seemed to have crossed that line, though, and the air felt charged with it. 

There wasn't really a subtle way to check if his brother was was sporting an erection; then again, Klaus had never been one for subtlety, so he let his eyes drag down the length of Diego's body, from the tight fitting harness with all of its sheathed knives to the thick, heavy belt holding up Diego's army-navy surplus pants. He couldn't see the telltale bulge of an erection, but for all he knew, Diego was wearing a cup. Pity.

Klaus looked up at Diego, and he smirked. That charged feeling in the air seemed to be getting thicker - something electric and complicated. It was sinking roots into his gut, heat throbbing through him as he began to get hard. It wasn't the first time he'd had an erection around Diego - _because of_ Diego, even - but it still felt... different. It didn't help that he was still wearing his lace up leather pants, and any boner he had in these would be more than a little bit obvious.

Oh, well.

Diego was flushing, but he hadn't... done anything. He was just looking at Klaus, his expression hard to read.

"So was she riding him? I'm thinking lots of prolonged eye contact, personally. Maybe some hand holding." He slid his hands into Diego's, and Diego... well, he didn't hold Klaus's hand, but he didn't shove Klaus's hands away either. From Diego, that was practically a gilt-edged invitation.

"Why are you speculating about how our siblings are having sex? With each other, I might add," Diego said. He still looked flustered - he was boxing Klaus in, his knees pressing into Klaus's knees, his broad shoulders blocking out Klaus's view of the alley. Somehow, even though Diego had the higher ground, Klaus still felt like he had all the power. 

"Because I haven't gotten any... in a while," Klaus said, neatly sidestepping the crushing grief that came over him every time he thought about Dave. It was probably a bad sign that he could just pull away from his feelings like that, but he'd worry about that at some later date.

"So why don't you go out and get some?" Diego wasn't moving, and his face was going red again. It was less blotchy this time, at least. 

"It's still light out,” said Klaus. “Where am I going to find someone willing to indulge in the kind of hedonistic debauchery that would leave me satisfied when the sun is still up?" 

"That's not my problem," Diego said, shaking Klaus's hands off. "I've got patrols to do."

"It's still light out," Klaus reminded him. "You're not gonna be able to do much crime fighting if everyone can see you." His hands ran along the thick leather of Diego's belt, the metal of the buckle cold against his palm. He ran his fingers over Diego's utility pouches - _utility pouches_ , what a nerd- and then Klaus’s fingertips were brushing over a different sort of leather. He looked down, and grinned.

“Stop with that look,” Diego groused, but he didn’t shove Klaus’s hands away.

“I can’t help it,” said Klaus. “That’s just what my face does.” His fingers closed over the leather case clipped to Diego’s belt, and he tugged on the snap. 

“Your face does a lot of things,” said Diego, “and don’t think I don’t notice you messing with my handcuff case.” His tone was very calm, but Klaus could make out an undercurrent of something under it. 

“If you want me to stop, stop me,” said Klaus, and he pulled the snap open and reached inside. The handcuffs were cold, even though they’d been kept so close to Diego’s warm body. 

Diego… didn’t say anything. That sure was interesting.

“So,” said Klaus, “you wanna know what I think?”

“You’re gonna tell me, regardless,” said Diego. His tone was resigned. 

Klaud held the handcuffs in both hands, a bracelet in each palm. “I think you’re pulling your regular guilt act over the fact that you got hard watching Allison and Luther fucking.”

Diego stiffened - Klaus couldn’t tell if he was stiffening in the… usual spot, as it were, but the rest of him was as still as a statue.

“I mean,” Klaus said, and he opened one bracelet - it made a mechanical ratcheting sound, very loud in the alley. The distant sounds of traffic seemed to be coming from very far away. “Allison is fuckin’ gorgeous. I’d be up for whatever she’d offer me.” He waggled his eyebrows at Diego, and Diego flinched like he’d been slapped, the muscles in his jaw going tight. 

“You think she’d offer her _brother_ something like that?” Diego’s voice had dropped half an octave.

“She’s offering her other brother,” Klaus pointed out. He opened up the other bracelet.

“That’s different,” said Diego. He was still not moving, still avoiding eye contact. His face was very red.

“How is it different?” Klaus leaned back, looking Diego straight in the face. 

Diego looked back, although it seemed like it was taking effort. Klaus made a big show of licking his lips, and Diego bit his own lip.

“I asked you a question,” Klaus said, and he lifted one of the open bracelets to Diego’s wrist, the cold metal pressed into the warm skin. 

More silence.

Klaus closed the bracelet, and Diego jumped. He didn’t say anything, just let the handcuff dangle off of one wrist, but his fingers dug into Klaus’s shoulders.

“So what’d you catch those two crazy kids at, anyway?” Klaus grabbed the loose handcuff, and he leaned back. In one fluid motion, he brought the open bracelet to Diego’s other wrist, and he clicked it shut. 

“What’d you do that for?” Diego sounded faintly surprised.

“I mean,” Klaus said, and he curled his finger under the chain connecting the bracelets, tugging on it and forcing Diego’s hands forward. “You could get out of these in, like, ten seconds if you wanted to.”

Diego looked down at him, one eyebrow up. He was annoyingly good at that look.

“We both got trained in escapology,” Klaus said, and he stood up to his full height, which was also Diego’s full height. He was wearing sneakers, and Diego was wearing boots, so Diego was a little taller; Klaus did his best to loom. “I’ve seen you get out of this model of handcuffs in thirteen seconds.” He tugged on the handcuff chain again, pressing his chest into Diego’s. They were pressed very tightly together now, almost nose to nose, and Diego could probably feel Klaus’s erection, but he wasn’t pulling away.

“So?” Diego’s breath was hot across Klaus’s face.

“So,” Klaus said. “If you wanted out, you’d be out.” He ran his hands from the chain to the bracelets, then further up, until his long fingers were loosely wrapped around Diego’s wrists.

“Maybe I’m worried about hurting you,” Diego said, his voice cracking. His eyes seemed to be getting darker. 

“You weren’t worried about hurting me when you punched me in the stomach,” Klaus pointed out. His hands moved further up, along the muscles of Diego’s arms, to Diego’s broad shoulders. 

“That was for your own good,” Diego said. 

“Keep telling yourself that,” said Klaus, and he pressed his forehead against Diego’s, their noses mushed together. “Maybe this is for _your_ own good.”

“What’s for my own good?” Diego’s voice was resonating through Klaus’s chest, vibrating, like sitting near a stereo.

Klaus leaned forward, and he kissed Diego - a full on soul kiss, with his lips and his tongue and his teeth. He licked into Diego’s mouth, wet and soft, and Diego sagged against him, knees going weak. Diego’s cuffed hands were clutching at Klaus’s coat, and when they pulled apart, Diego looked drunk from it, his lips swollen and red, his eyes dark.

“That,” said Klaus, and he kissed the corner of Diego’s mouth, their stubble scraping together. He ran his fingers over the harness, feeling the sheathed knives, and the muscle moving under them.

“W-what?” Diego blinked at him dopily. He was still clutching the lapels of Klaus’s jacket, and he was breathing heavily. 

“That,” Klaus repeated, and he kissed Diego again, deeper this time, more aggressively. He put a hand on the back of Diego’s head, his thumb against one of those long knife scars, and he curled his fingers into Diego’s short hair.

Diego moaned into the kiss, and he was trying to bring his arms up to cradle Klaus’s face, but then Klaus grabbed his wrists, forcing them down again. 

“When was the last time you came from something other than your own hand, _bro_?” Klaus ran his hands appreciatively over Diego’s chest again, squeezing. 

“It’s… I mean,” Diego said. He was coming apart at the seams, and that was kind of hilarious - big tough Diego weak in the knees from two kisses. What would he be like for anything juicier?

… Time to find out!

“You mean?” Klaus’s hand slid lower, and he squeezed Diego between the legs - it felt like there was a proper rigid cup there, but Klaus could feel a familiar thickness under it. “God, Diego, you’re really rarin’ to go, aren’t you?”

Diego’s hips rolled forward, and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, then opened them again, clearly trying to get his brain working again. “You’re pretty worked up yourself, y’know,” he said.

Klaus shrugged. “It’s been a while,” he said, which was true. He didn’t want to think about how long it had been, both due to temporal shenanigans, and... well, aforementioned feelings he wasn’t going to be dealing with, _thankyouverymuch_.

Diego snorted. “I guess this isn’t new territory for you,” he said, his voice dry. 

Klaus paused. “Excuse me?” He shifted, grabbing Diego by the shoulders and spinning him around. Now the front bumper was pressing into the backs of _Diego’s_ knees.

“Sucking someone off in this alley,” Diego said, and he smiled in what he probably thought was a disaffected way. If only his eyes hadn’t been so dark, and his lips so swollen. “I mean, it won’t be my first time getting sucked off here.”

“Is that so,” Klaus said, and now he was annoyed. Why was he so annoyed? Something about it was getting under his skin - maybe the way Diego seemed to be trying to take control of everything, even though _he_ was the one handcuffed. 

“It is,” Diego said. 

“When’d you get blown here?”

“Ages ago, when I still lived at home,” said Diego. He rattled the handcuffs, his expression rueful. “At least, uh… this is new.”

“We should try something else new,” Klaus said brightly, aware there was a manic edge to his voice, but not particularly caring. He grabbed the handcuff chain in one hand and the collar of Diego’s turtleneck with the other, and he used the leverage to spin Diego around, bending his brother over the hood of the car.

Diego made a surprised noise, looking over his shoulder at Klaus. His hands were trapped under him, and he was clearly off balance. “Klaus, what the _fuck_?”

“You’re right,” Klaus said cheerfully, and he pressed up close, his own erection against Diego’s ass, grinding his hips forward. “I’ve sucked some cocks back here, had my share of fun. But you know me, brother dear.” His hands came around, pulling on the buckle to Diego’s belt, unbuckling it by feel alone. “I’m always chasing that new experience.” He undid the buckle, fumbled the buttons open, then shoved them down. 

“How is doing any of this with _me_ not a new experience?” Diego sounded nervous. He wasn’t doing anything to pull away, though, even though he could. Klaus knew he could, and Diego knew that Klaus knew, and Klaus knew that Diego knew that… okay, no, now it was getting confusing. 

“So I’m a slut for a bunch of different sorts of experiences,” Klaus said, and he wasn’t even thinking as he yanked Diego’s pants down in the back. Diego was only in the jock strap, no boxers, and Klaus smirked, grabbed his brother’s bare ass. 

“You’re a slut for a lot of things,” Diego said, and he sounded nervous. “Klaus, it’s broad daylight. Anyone could find us.”

“So they’ll find us,” Klaus said, and he ran his hands along Diego’s back - the bow of it, the curve of his ass, which was downright _plush_. “Anyway, I’m not the one bent over my own car with my ass out for all to see. Don’t going throwing stones in that slutty glass house of yours.” He took a handful, and he squeezed it, then slapped it, just to watch it jiggle. 

“Klaus, that makes no _sense_ ,” groused Diego, and he squirmed. He was still being compliant - remarkably compliant, come to think of it. If Klaus wasn’t thinking with his dick, he might have been downright suspicious. 

“Shut up, Diego,” said Klaus, and he slapped Diego on the ass again, taking a cheek in each hand. He held Diego open, and he stared down at Diego’s hole. 

“This is so fucked up,” Diego said, his voice shaking. He was shifting, but his stance was still relaxed, his muscles tense but not primed. 

“That’s the fun part,” Klaus said, dropping to his knees, still holding Diego open, and licked him, from the tip of the cup to Diego’s hole.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Diego hissed, and now he was beginning to go limp - he was leaning forward. There was a metallic “thump” as Diego crashed forward onto the car, and Diego was rising up on his tiptoes. “Klaus, we’re in public, people can _see_ us, it’s daytime, what the… the…”

Klaus was smirking. It takes effort to smirk while you eat ass, not to mention skill. Somehow, he managed. He slid his tongue inside of Diego, sucking messily, and he was drooling down his chin, soaking into his shirt. _Gonna have to wash this later. Oh well_. More licking, more jabbing with his tongue, and then he bit one cheek, just to feel Diego shudder against him. 

“God, Klaus, what the fuck,” Diego groaned, but his hips were grinding back against Klaus’s mouth. Klaus held him open, using his tongue inside of Diego, his stubbly face against the sensitive skin around the hole. He sucked and licked, spreading spit everywhere, and every now and then he’d pause for a breath, biting at Diego’s cheeks, or leaving hickeys on Diego’s thighs.

It’d been a while since he’d done this, but some things were like riding a bike. Could he ride a bike? He wasn’t actually sure if he could, come to think of it. But he could eat ass. Judging by the noises Diego was making, he was doing it more than well enough. Klaus’s hands moved to Diego’s inner thighs, squeezing them, kneading them, then spreading them, keeping Diego off balance. Diego’s ass was getting pink, from the beard burn, from the biting, from all the stimulation. He wondered, idly, if this was the first time Diego’d been eaten out before. He’d certainly have to ask, when his tongue wasn’t quite so occupied. Although, god, Diego was tight, hot, wet, wriggling and panting against him, his whole body drawing tighter and tighter.

Klaus pulled back, pressing a kiss to an especially purple hickey, then bit it viciously, just to hear Diego’s sharp intake of breath. There was something downright _heady_ about this, knowing just how strong and terrifying Diego was, and that he was letting himself be physically manipulated like… well, like this. By Klaus. Because Klaus wanted it. It was as good as a high, and Klaus couldn’t get enough of it. He buried his face back between Diego’s cheeks, making no effort to disguise the wet noises, and Diego groaned like a broken thing. He was grinding his hips forward, but with that cup on, he couldn’t be getting much in the way of stimulation. Klaus ran his hands up and down Diego’s thighs again, pushing the hair against the grain, and was rewarded with more shivering.

“Klaus, f-f-f-fuck,” Diego groaned, and Klaus looked up, over the curve of Diego’s ass, up at the bars of the fire escape, and smiled wider. Fuck, this was… this was something he was doing. He had his tongue buried in his brother’s ass in the alley beside their childhood home, and god, he was going to _revel_ in it. 

Hedonistic debauchery, indeed.

Klaus pulled back, and he licked his lips, letting the reality of what he was doing settle in his mind like snow on a rooftop. It was probably going to cave in and cause who knew _how_ much damage, but for now… fuck it. 

Klaus’s tongue was pushing back inside of Diego, and then Diego was going utterly still, his calves like marble and his ass pulsing. It took Klaus a second, but then he was pulling back, cackling like a hyena. “Did you just come?”

“Sh-sh-shut up,” Diego stuttered out, and he made an annoyed noise as Klaus pressed against his back. Klaus ground his hips against Diego’s ass, and Diego shuddered, clearly still oversensitive.

“You _did_. Oh my god, Diego, I didn’t realize you were so sensitive.” Klaus slid his hands down the length of Diego’s body, into the cup, and he rubbed some of Diego’s spunk between two fingers, then brought it up to Diego’s mouth.

Diego sucked it off, seemingly without realizing he was doing it, and Klaus was giggling into Diego’s ear. “Oh my god, you’re such a slut,” he told Diego, and he bit Diego on the ear, just to feel Diego arch against him. “I don’t know why I’m so surprised. All this leather should have been a hint.”

“Shut up,” Diego mumbled around Klaus’s fingers. 

Klaus found the chain between the two handcuffs, using it to turn Diego around, so that they were chest to chest again, and Klaus leaned in to kiss Diego.

Diego leaned back, wrinkling his nose. “Your tongue is not going in my mouth until you’ve brushed your teeth,” he informed Klaus. 

“It was _your_ ass,” Klaus pointed out, but he grabbed Diego by the hips, shoving his brother onto the hood of the car and yanking Diego’s pants lower, then hooking his fingers under the waistband of the jockstrap and pulling it down. He ended up pulling the leg of Diego’s pants over one of Diego’s boots, and then he was between Diego’s spread thighs, Diego's skin sticking to the leather of Klaus’s pants.

“I don’t lick my own ass regularly,” said Diego. He looked so pretty, spread out on the hood of the car like this. The sun was beginning to go down, and it cast barred shadows across Diego’s lovely face; his fingers were flexing rhythmically in the handcuffs, and his leather gloves creaked. The little bit of skin Klaus could see between the leather of the gloves and the sleeves of Diego’s turtleneck somehow seemed more obscene than the sticky vulnerability of Diego’s balls. Diego was going to have some interesting bruises, judging by the way he was yanking at the cuffs.

“So you lick it irregularly?” Klaus began to fiddle with the front of his pants, shoving them open and groaning with relief as he freed his cock.

“Oh my god, Klaus,” Diego groaned, and he looked like he wanted to do something with his hands. The cuffs rattled.

“You need to think about how you phrase things, Diego,” Klaus said, grabbing his brother by the thigh and pulling him closer. The wet head of his own cock smeared against Diego’s thigh, and Diego shivered. “You don’t want people to get the wrong idea.”

“Wrong idea,” Diego echoed. He was letting himself be manhandled, and Klaus paused to give the thick muscles of Diego’s thighs a good squeeze.

Klaus liked the way Diego shuddered at that, and he grinned. “For example,” Klaus said, and he leaned back, carefully adjusting, so that the head of his cock nudged along the cleft of Diego’s ass. “People might think that you were just some creep fucking his brother in an alleyway in broad daylight.” He pushed his hips forward, and the head of his cock brushed over Diego’s asshole - it tried to pull Klaus in, and Klaus made a delighted nose. God, he loved how _needy_ Diego was. Someone should have done this a long time ago. 

Klaus was doing the world a favor, giving Diego the fucking he so clearly needed. 

Especially the bit of the world that had Diego in it. 

Klaus dug around in a pocket for the packets of lube he’d shoved in there the last time he’d gone out for a night on the town, pulling out two, shoving one in his mouth for safekeeping, and tearing the other one open to drizzle onto his cock. Making a face at how cold it was, he dropped the empty packet, and tore open the second one, spreading more over his fingers. 

“People wouldn’t know we were b-b-brothers, looking at us,” Diego said, and he made a face as his words became tangled, tripping over his tongue. His mouth fell open as Klaus’s fingers slid into him - two, stretching him open, lubing him up inside, then pulling out to rub more along his hole. He had drawn his hands up to his own face, covering his mouth, his cheeks, grabbing hold of his own hair. The chain of the handcuffs draped over his chin. 

“I know,” Klaus said, and he positioned the head of his cock at Diego’s hole, nudging at it, hissing at the contrast - cold lube, hot body. “But you wanna know a secret?” He pushed his hips forward, moaning like he was being paid for it as he breached Diego’s body. “ _I_ know we’re brothers, and _you_ know we’re brothers, and that’s what matters, isn’t it?” He grabbed the handcuff chain, forcing Diego’s hands down to chest height. 

“You’re sick,” Diego panted, but he was arching his back, his heels digging into Klaus’s spine, his ass pulsing around Klaus’s cock.

Klaus stopped moving. His cock was halfway in, and it was a genuine _trial_ not to keep thrusting, but he was making a Point. Or maybe he was being a tease (to who? Himself? Diego? Who knew!) but regardless… it was important. “You could stop me,” he told Diego. “Right here, right now. You could stop me. Just get out of those handcuffs, probably break my dick off using some special secret technique you learned in cop school-”

“Police officers do not learn how to use our asses as some kind of special weapons,” Diego grumbled, and then he gasped, his heels digging harder into Klaus’s back. “God, Klaus…”

Klaus leaned forward, pushing himself in deeper, his forehead against Diego’s, and he was breathing on Diego’s face - Diego wrinkled his nose, but he was clutching at Klaus’s jacket, and his cock was already beginning to get hard again. “Really, Diego?”

“Shut up,” Diego mumbled, and he shuddered, yanking at the handcuffs. His wrists were going to be sore - he’d be able to excuse it with whatever bullshit he was getting involved with, breaking bones and cracking skulls. 

Any bruise he gave Diego could be excused away, and Klaus had done the crime fighting thing - weird shit could go down. He looked down at the lovely tableau of the tendons bulging in Diego’s throat, at the flush of Diego’s cheeks. He drew his hips back, then thrust back in, giving a full body shiver at the way Diego seemed to be drawing him deeper. “You fucking love this,” he told Diego.

“I’m letting you d-d-d-d-do it,” Diego said, and then he gave a long, drawn out gasp, as Klaus twisted a hand over the head of his cock. His knuckles were probably starting to ache, from clutching at Klaus’s coat. 

“I want you to say it,” Klaus singsonged, and he swiveled his hips and twisted his wrist at the same time, a maneuver that had made greater people than Diego lose their shit.

(Okay, no, that was a lie, they hadn’t been greater than Diego, but at the very least they’d had more experience with it.) 

Diego, to his eternal credit, held on. He held on with his inner muscles, and he held on with his hands, and he kept Klaus’s gaze, his expression borderline grim. Maybe that was just Diego’s come face- Klaus was looking forward to seeing that.

“Say it,” Klaus repeated, and he gave a particularly hard thrust, rocking the car on its wheels.

Diego moaned, and then looked guilty - the sound echoed on all the brick and metal surrounding them in the alley. “It’s… it’s good,” he said, and his voice cracked.

“What’s good? What, Diego, my favorite brother, who is like two seconds away from milking me like a dairy cow, is so good?” He was nearly bending Diego in half, pressing his forehead into Diego’s, their noses pressed together.

_Oh_ , he was already so close to coming, and he wasn’t thinking, he was just _doing_ , and what he was doing was fucking his brother on the hood of his brother’s car in the alley in broad daylight. That sure was a crazy thing to think about, wasn’t it? It sure _fucking_ was.

“Klaus, that look on your face is m-m-m-m-making me nervous.” Diego said, and he looked as frustrated as ever by his stutter, but his tone was otherwise fairly reasonable. Almost conversational. Not like he was having his brains fucked out, his cock jerked off. He reached his hands out, awkwardly, still cuffed, and he held Klaus’s face in his hands, his thumb against Klaus’s lower lip. 

“What about it is making you so nervous, Diego?” Another hip swivel, and Klaus nipped Diego’s thumb, then kissed his palm, his tongue darting out to taste the leather. He licked it, and Diego snorted. 

“You look like you’re planning something,” said Diego. “Something… devious.” 

“You mean fucking you where we can get caught by either our siblings _or_ the general public isn’t devious enough?” Klaus snickered. “I need to up my game, don’t I?” He ran his thumb over the head of Diego’s cock, and it throbbed in his hand.

“God, you’re fucked up,” Diego groaned, and he was trembling. Actually trembling, which was precious. Klaus wanted to pin it to a card and put it under glass, like the butterflies in their dad’s study. 

“And you’re being fucked,” Klaus said, “by the fucked up one. If that ain’t _fucked_ I dunno what is.”

Diego snorted, half annoyed, half amused, and Klaus looked into those familiar eyes, felt the foreign/familiar tug at the base of his spine and the pit of his gut. He was going to come, and it was… oh god, he needed it so badly, he needed it like he needed air. He needed it like he needed _Diego_. He wanted to kiss Diego, but no dice; but that was okay, that was okay, because here was Diego’s face, the only bit of skin that Klaus could see, and he dug his teeth into it.

He bit Diego’s cheek, hard enough that he tasted metal, and then he was coming inside of Diego, the sweet, pulsing heat washing over him like the ocean, crashing down on him and making it hard to breathe. He pulled back, and... oh boy, but that was an impressive bite mark. 

“Klaus, I’m gonna… I’m gonna fuckin’... oh, fuck, _Klaus_ , I’m gonna…!” Diego seemed torn between anger and intense arousal, and Klaus smiled down at him, delighted.

“C’mon, bro, come on. Come for me, Diego, I wanna see it, let me see that gorgeous face.” He took Diego’s leather covered finger into his mouth, and he sucked, keeping eye contact, his tongue tracing along the knuckle, and he gave Diego a slow, sweet stroke. 

“Sick… fuck,” Diego mumbled, and Klaus chortled, pressing his thumb against the bite mark.

“You love it,” Klaus said. “Say it.” He paused his stroking, and Diego went still as death. “Say it, Diego.”

“I want it,” Diego said, his voice very small. 

“What else?” Another stroke.

“I… I love it,” Diego said, and his voice broke like a plate. He was on the very edge of orgasm, his whole body trembling, his face as raw as something red at the butcher counter. 

“Love you too, brother,” Klaus said, and Diego cried out as he came. 

It must have been one humdinger of an orgasm - spunk wet and sticky on Diego’s sweater, across Klaus’s hand. He made a big show of licking it off, and Diego flushed, still hazy post-orgasm. Then he frowned. “Did you bite my _face_?” 

“Seemed like a good idea at the time,” Klaus said cheerfully, pulling out of Diego with a wince. “Hoo boy. You’re gonna be a mess when you go on patrol, huh?” 

Diego groaned, covering his face with his handcuffed hands. “It’s still light out,” he mumbled, too fucked out to care.

Klaus grinned. “That’s what I’ve been telling you,” he told Diego. “When are you gonna start listening to me?” 

Diego wriggled his fingers, and then he did something twisty with his wrists, and he wasn’t wearing the handcuffs on both wrists anymore, which was a relief. Klaus had started to worry that maybe Diego couldn’t, in fact, take them off. 

“When you stop doing shit like bite my face,” Diego said flatly. 

“I’m sure we’ll be able to come to some kind of arrangement,” Klaus said, and he pressed a chaste kiss to the bite mark.


End file.
